Amazon Journal (cont.'d)

9 April 2010

8:10 PM

We are well on our way to Atlanta having arrived just west of Washington, D.C., and will soon be entering Virginia airspace.  We are cruising at an altitude of 35,995 feet with the exterior air temps running at -45 degrees F!  Brrrr!!  We will have roughly an hour between landing in Atlanta and departure for Manaus so Atlanta might be an interesting experience.

So far our band of intrepid travelers is handling all the travel via American airspace really well.  Josh is still not convinced that air travel is a good thing, especially during take-offs and landings whichh he really dislikes!  But I'm determined to make an air traveler out of him yet.

Ah, here comes the drink service.  So I'll sign out until later.  A very uneventful flight that has so far brought us right back past Asheville and roughly right over Hendersonville.

10:38 PM

Yes!  We have boarded our flight bound for Manaus, Brazil.  It has already been a long day but way cool to actually hear the flight attendant speaking Portuguese.  Very exciting indeed!  Now we are truly on our way to Brazil.  Our departure was soundly started with a baby screaming bloody murder just in front of Chris.  Sorry but that just made me laugh out loud.

Our flight is a little over five hours long and we get a sandwich to eat.  Good thing because I am hungry again!  I have now gone an entire day without a computer, Facebook, e-mail, Blackberry, text messaging, or any technology other than my iPod.  And wow, it feels really great to not be completely plugged in and constantly available.

At 11:40 PM, we are now flying east of Daytona Beach over the Atlantic on route to the Caribbean.  We have left the continental US.  The sense of anticipation grows with each passing mile.  By tomorrow evening, we will be aboard our boat on the Amazon River.  I still can hardly believe that I am on a foreign flight.  God is truly an amazing God who has so richly blessed me with dear friends and His amazing love.  I told Chris this afternoon that when I left Balsam in January that I was broken and hurting.  I really didn't believe I could be healed of the heart-sickness that had built up over months.  Yet, he guided me to a new church family that has cared for me and touched me in ways I did not think possible.

I believe God began the healing of my broken heart long before I first walked through the doors of First Methodist Church of Waynesville.  I believe he began the healing using a new, young Christian who served as my encourager.  Tony kept reminding me who it was that really mattered and gave me the courage to make the move that would truly help me to heal.  That is a debt of gratitude that I will never forget.

But the intense healing began with a choir that from my first introduction to them treated me with total acceptance despite my being a total stranger.  Yet, that healing only intensified as a result of something a former professor of education at Western said to me as we approached the observance of Lent.  Eddie has many reasons to rightfully be bitter, angry, upset.  But, he has overcome that and has encouraged me to release old pain.  I was searching for something to give up for Lent and did not want to choose something trite.  As this was my first celebration of Ash Wednesday and observance of Lent, I wanted to make a choice that would truly enhance my spiritual condition and draw me closer to God.  I wanted to release my anger and bitterness and truly move forward.  I told him this and he suggest that I pray God's blessings on all who had hurt me during the 40 days of Lent.  This became what I gave up for Lent.  As I moved through that 40 day period, I felt each day that the burden of anger, bitterness, resentment, and betrayal began to drop away.  The hurt will always be there but God showed me that I could indeed leave it behind.  And, so, on Easter Sunday at the 8:30 AM service, I stepped out to join Pastor Sandy Giles in front of the congregation to formally join First Methodist Church.  I count it a great honor that David Traynham stood with me and that Willie really surprised me by joining him.  There are times in our lives that are truly seasons of change.  In Ecclesiastes, Solomon eloquently teaches us this when he says:

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:  A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;  A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;  A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;  A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together, a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;  A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;  A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

(3:1-8, KJV)        

My time to heal has come.  My time to weep has passed.  My time to laugh, to feel the joy of the Lord, has come.  My time of silence has ended.  And, my time to speak is the here and the now.  I pray that God grant me the courage to boldly proclaim my faith and to ever remember the wonderful blessings of His grace.  A new beginning has come and I will boldly move into this new phase in life.  Thanks be to God!

Amazon Journal (cont.'d)

9 April 2010

1:50 PM

The great adventure has started!!  Our flight departed Asheville Regional Airport on time and we are 25,000 feet high on our first leg of our journey to Brazil.  We are scheduled to land at La Guardia airport around 2:30 PM EST.  Our first few hours together have been truly a laugh a minute.  We have all been mercilessly aggravating Josh about plane flights but he was a real trooper and gave back as good as he got!  I was a bit worried when we started to board the plane that he might freak out but he did great.  The first few minutes of the flight were amusing when Josh and Kim F. were shocked with some good old-fashioned April turbulence!  That had all of us giggling!  And poor Tony got placed at the back of the plane.  He says he is the bathroom monitor.  Ha, I wouldn't mess with him!

Any concerns I had about how the lone United Methodist would do among the Southern Baptists have been alleviated.  For all intents and purposes, we are now a mission team.  We also got word this morning that we will be coordinating a youth rally on Thursday night!  People know that engaging young people in growing their faith and serving the Savior are my true passions.  My heart is full knowing that I will get to do this on the mission field.  I know that dad would be proud of me on this day.  I remember that fateful last day he was aware of all of us that we promised him that we would continue his work here on earth.  Today, I have started a trek to fulfill a dream of his that was never fulfilled.  By Saturday morning, I will be a servant on a foreign field sharing the faith of my father and my own faith with children and adults who have so little.  May I do so in a way that would honor my dad's memory.

2:45 PM

Start spreadin' the news . . . . . We have landed at La Guardia after flying by the Statue of Liberty and Manhattan.  I hadn't seen either since I was a Junior in college back in the late-1980s.  It is truly a breath-taking view and was extra special knowing that the Twin Towers, which were there when I first visited, are gone.  I thought that Josh was going to float out of his seat!!  His joy of everything new is just so fun to watch.  We currently are sitting on the runway awaiting a gate opening.  And then, the all important search for some decent food!!

7:00 PM

Stage 2 has begun.  We boarded our flight to Atlanta around 6:30 PM.  I am on my second Starbucks Mocha so I am doing great!  Ha!  My traveling companions may be ready to throw me off the plane when that much caffeine starts to work its magic.  It was truly fun going via New York city because it was a treat to a number of the team members.  We are now preparing to taxi for our take-off on the second leg of our journey to Atlanta.  As usual, the Atlanta connection is a tight one which will leave us running to catch the flight to Brazil.  I am amazed to watch Kim D. out of the Waynesville environment.  He shared his faith with our waitress at Chili's in La Guardia airport.  She was very sweet, twenty-one years old, and a Christian as well.  Laura is exhausted and a little under-the-weather.  Both she and Tony slept for a while in the floor at La Guardia.  Laura has been coordinating everything for days and needs to rest during our overnight flight to Brazil.  Tony also needs some rest because he has worked and prepped materials and assignments for his classes for the past two weeks.

I am tired but am really running on full adrenaline.  It is good to be on planes again!  I guess it is true that there are two types of people:  those who love to travel and those who hate to travel.  I definitely am someone who loves to travel.  And this group has already proven that it is never going to be dull!!  We have all laughed so much today.  And yes, Chris is being remarkably well-behaved.  I'm definitely impressed.

The most amusing thing that we've seen was watching three Delta flight attendants try to figure out how to stow Kim D.'s fishing poles!  It took them about ten minutes to figure that one out leading to the inevitable jokes . . . "How many flight attendants does it take to stow a fishing pole?"  Hopefully, all will proceed smoothly and we will make our connecting flight to Manaus.  More to come later!

A Journal Relating My Experiences on Mission to the Amazon River Basin of Brazil

9 April 2010
Asheville, NC

And Jesus came and said to them, "All authority in heaven and earth has been given to me.  Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you.  And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age."

Matthew 28:18-20 (NRSV)           

There are times that experiences lead us to opportunities that we never would have expected.  I have often thought that my first trip abroad would be to Europe, most likely a visit to the home of some of the greatest literary authors known to humanity, England.  But, life has a way of sending us surprises as we progress through the journey of our allotted time on this amazing creation of God.  Such is the story of how my first trip abroad became participating as part of a mission team on its way to the Amazon River Basin of Brazil.  How did I end up going to Brazil??  It is an interesting story and one that illustrates how our best laid plans get altered by God.

When Laura and Kim DeWeese returned from their first mission trip to Brazil over a year ago, they came back to Balsam Baptist Church where they gave a presentation about their experiences sharing the gospel with the Brazilian people.  It was truly a fascinating presentation; and I found myself wondering what it would be like to visit a remote region of the world among the indigenous people of Brazil.  But, the very human side of me kept saying "no, you couldn't do that.  That's not for you."  Of course, I heard the clarion call as clear as day that this was something that I needed to do.  But being the rational person that I am, I kept finding reasons I could not do this (read that "excuses").  Indeed, I felt just a little like one of my favorite Bible characters, Moses.  My pastor at First Methodist said something in one of his sermons a few weeks ago that reminded me of my vacillations.  Sandy said that he had come to realize over the years that humans are exceptionally talented at rationalizing any and all of their actions.  It was a statement that rang very true for me, a statement that likely left me with a goofy grin on my face in the choir loft.

So, how did I end up yielding to God's call to go on this mission trip?  Well, God for some reason has this amazing ability to use mere humans to prompt us to do what he is asking us to do.  In this case, God brought a young man into my life that has become one of the best friends I have ever had.  I believe God brought him to me to help break me out of my comfort zone.  Tony Wing was the first volunteer for the trip.  As we chatted one evening, he told me he was going on the mission trip.  I told him that I just couldn't do that.  With his typical enthusiasm (and sometimes bluntness), he said "Well why not?"  It was at that point that I realized that I was putting up excuses to avoid launching out on faith and doing something that God wanted me to do.  If a young Christian could so easily commit to going on a mission for Christ, what was wrong with my faith?  At that moment, I knew that I would be going to Brazil as part of the mission team.  I had no job, no clue what I was going to do, but I had the faith to go ahead and commit to going on this trip.  It was one of the most uncharacteristic moves I have ever made but I can say that sitting in the Asheville airport with this group is one of the most peaceful moments I have experienced.  There is no fear, but there is an overwhelming excitement and anticipation to be about the work of the master.

Blogging the Amazon River Basin

Between April 9th and April 18th, I went with a group of seven other people on a mission trip to the Amazon River Basin.  During our trip, we visited two remote villages located approximately seven hours up the Amazon River from the city of Santarém, Brazil.  Our trip to this region included time spent in two villages, Curuaí and Aracurí.  While in Brazil, I wrote over 70 pages of journal entries detailing my thoughts, experiences, and observations about the flora, fauna, indigenous peoples, and the conditions in the villages.  Over the next few weeks, I will be bringing my written journal online in an electronic format for all of those who were interested in our experiences in Brazil.  The experience was life-changing in so many ways and causes one to reassess many aspects of life.  Naturally, when one writes a journal there are some elements of that journal that become very personal.  The most personal of observations that I deem something I do not want to share with the web community will remain in my written journal only.  There are things that are too personal to share (well, at least for some of us!).  I hope everyone enjoys my thoughts about what I experienced in the Amazon River Basin.  It was truly a time of discovery of many things about myself.  Stay tuned for more posts.

A must have reference book for C# developers.

C# 4.0 In A Nutshell: The Definitive Reference

Authors:  Joseph Albahari, Ben Albahari

Edition:  4th Edition (covers CLR 4.0)

Publisher:  O’Reilly

ISBN:  978-0-596-80095-6

Price:  $49.99 (US); $62.99 (CAN); £38.50 (British)

Catalog Page:  http://oreilly.com/catalog/9780596800956/

TOC Listing:  http://oreilly.com/catalog/9780596800963#toc

O’Reilly User Group Discount Code:

(5 out of 5 clownfish)

Without a doubt, O’Reilly Media produces many of the finest information technology books on the market. Whether your need is beginner’s level introductions to information technologies or are a more advanced programmer in need of more complex and refined topics, O’Reilly has a book that can meet diverse needs of an audience often with vastly wide-ranging skill levels. One of their numerous series of books are the Nutshell series which their website describes as “topical quick-reference guides that document every nook and cranny of a topic or technology area . . . Designed to be daily companions, these books belong next to your keyboard, at the ready when you need a quick answer” (http://oreilly.com/store/series/nutshells.csp). Having used a couple of the Nutshell selections for a couple of years, I have to say that this description perfectly fits these books. They are not really a book you sit and read cover to cover.

The text contains twenty-six chapters covering all elements of C# 4.0. Notably, the book covers “features new to C# 4.0 and the associated Framework are flagged so that you can also use this book as a C# 3.0 reference” (Albahari & Albahari, 2010). This fourth edition of the book covers the significant new feature set being provided in C# 4.0 including dynamic binding, type variance with generic interfaces and delegates, optional parameters, named arguments, and COM interoperability improvements.

The first three chapters of the text concentrate purely on C# covering the basics of syntax, types, and variables. This front content finishes with advanced topics including unsafe code and preprocessor directives. New C# users should read all three of these chapters sequentially to gain the foundational understanding of the language before moving into the remaining chapters that cover the core .NET Framework including such topics as LINQ, XML, collections, I/O and networking, memory management, reflection, dynamic programming, attributes, security, concurrency, application domains, and native interoperability. For new C# programmers, chapters six and seven (Framework Fundamentals and Collections) should also be read sequentially as they are integral concepts. The text also contains three chapters covering LINQ that should be read sequentially (LINQ Queries, LINQ Operators, and LINQ to XML).

As I examined this book, I realized that it would serve as an excellent quick reference for developers of all levels. However, the book is targeted at intermediate to advanced audiences. For beginners who make the wise decision to include this book in their library, it will serve as an exceptionally useful complement to a tutorial-style instruction to programming in C# 3.0 or 4.0. It will also serve as an ideal companion to books focusing on applied technology such as WPF, ASP.NET, or WCF. In fact, this book should be a required supplementary text for beginning students in C# 3.0 or 4.0 programming classes.

To work the code examples (especially those specific to C# 4.0) you will need the following software tools and documentation:

• C# 4.0 Compiler
• Microsoft .NET Framework 4.0
• Microsoft’s .NET documentation

All three of these items are available in Microsoft® Visual Studio 2010 which includes an express edition of Microsoft SQL Server®. SQL Server is required to run the LINQ to SQL and Entity Framework examples in the text, and includes IntelliSense. Currently, Visual Studio 2010 is available as a download from the Microsoft web page in a Release Candidate version (http://www.microsoft.com/visualstudio/en-us/products/2010/default.mspx). Official launch events for Visual Studio 2010 are scheduled for April 12th.

I would highly recommend this book to anyone interested in developing applications using C# 4.0. In fact, if you develop in C#, your library or bookshelf should not be missing this book. Clear concise examples, a great writing style, and wonderful diagrams of key concepts just add to the overall value of this book. Add to that the fact that you can use this book as a resource for C# 3.0 and it is a no brainer! Another excellent work from the O’Reilly team.

Moving On Down The Road Of Life

In the book of Ecclesiastes, we read that there is a time for everything, a season for all things under the sun.  And, so it is in life at times.  The last year has been a journey for me, a journey that at times has been anything but fun.  Rather, there have been moments when the outlook seemed bleak and the atmosphere seemed dark.  Indeed, there were moments when the storm clouds seemed to be on the verge of overwhelming me.  But, as is so often with the cycles of life, things turn around, decisions are made, movement happens.

For much of the past few months, I have wandered blindly through a dark haze that wouldn't seem to lift.  In short, I had gotten so mired in dismay and despair that I had forgotten to remember that God always has a plan.  We don't always know that plan because we are trying to find our way as we listen to his promptings.  But, after a long dark night, I can finally say I'm moving on down the road of life.  There is sadness which will remain for sometime.  There is pain that will lessen in time.  There are wounds that will heal with time and God's urgings.  But, through the deepest and darkest moments of the past year and the bitterest moments of the past few months, one thing, one person, has been a constant.  God never left my side.  He never gave up on me.  He never forsook me.  His loving arms were stretched tight around me and his hands were wiping away every tear that fell from my eyes.  And there is a comfort in that because I know that this will always be a truth for me.

There is a peace that comes with being able to make decisions that resolve problems we face in life.  And that peace truly passes all human understanding.  Although I know there will be sad days and sad moments in the time to come, I will march forward into the bright new future that God has prepared for me.  Whatever he has in store, it will be good and I will be happy.  That should be enough for all of us.

The Joy of Friendship

Today has been a good day. Not because I have done lots of things (I haven't!). And not because I have felt particularly great (because I haven't!). But despite having a late summer head cold, this has been a great day! My day started awaking early because of "snotitis". I didn't know the nasal passages could create that much stuff. Wonder if you could sell it for the purposes of laboratory research? *he he*

I got myself up out of bed and got ready for church. I particularly enjoyed playing the organ today. Maybe it was the cold medicine induced euphoria but I did enjoy it. The special singing was one of my favorite songs. And the preacher did have a wonderful message that all of us need to take more to heart. Sometimes it is very difficult to love as we should. Let's face it folks, human beings are not always the most lovable of creatures! But it was a good lesson and I look forward to more of it because it will be good for us to re-learn this important element of our Christianity.

Following church, I gathered with some of my truly best friends for lunch at Bogart's in Waynesville. There were nine of us all together and it made my day! No matter how I feel, how down in the dumps, whatever, these people ALWAYS lift my spirits. And that is what is so good about having friends, people that you truly care for and love. To be a friend, at least to me, is to give completely of myself. To be there in the ups and in the downs, in the good times and in the worst of times, in the fun times and in the not so fun times. In short, friendship is about allowing yourself to be loved and to love in return. And when that gift is given freely, I believe you evidence the love of God in its purest of forms, the agape love spoken of in the Bible. It is a love given, not because it is necessarily deserved, but because you want to give it. It makes you feel good to give it. That kind of love is transformative in your life because it serves as a solid post in the storms of life, a rallying point to hold on to through the toughest parts of our daily lives.

So, in short, it is friendship and the love of great friends that has made my day truly blessed!

Pondering the End of a Generation

As the day has unfolded, I have watched the funeral of Senator Ted Kennedy. Although I didn't watch the wall-to-wall coverage that blanketed the cable news networks, I did get an opportunity to see parts of the funeral mass, the stop at the steps leading up to the Senate chamber, and the graveside rites. Whether you liked or disliked Sen. Kennedy, it is hard to imagine a senator who more defined a hard-working leader who fought for what he believed in and spoke his mind on issues of the day. I happen to be one of the Democratic Party's faithful who believes that Teddy, as we affectionately thought of him in meetings that I have attended and at the Democratic National Convention's that I have attended, was indeed one of the finest examples of a United States senator that this nation has ever seen.

When you look at the broad sweep of his 77 years of life, exuberant and joyful life in the face of great adversities and great personal tragedies. Who among us could have lost one brother, a President of the United States, to a tragic assassination only to face the same situation five years later with a second brother who was running for President. But through both of those tragedies, he never lost his hope; he never lost his joy in living life to his fullest. Senator Kennedy freely admitted that he had personal problems and personal failings. But isn't that the true story of human beings? Aren't we essentially flawed creations because of original sin? Yet, through these personal failings, the senator was able to look to his faith to find the means of redemption. For, redemption is what original sin caused ALL of us to need! Often, we are so quick to condemn folks who fail. Our "righteous indignation" rises to the front as we stand up and act as if we are any better than that person who has failed. Well we aren't. The scriptures teach us that "all have failed and come short of the glory of the Lord" (Romans 3:23, paraphrase). Who among us has the right, or even the moral standing, to cast the first stone. I will certainly say that I don't. And the senator thus teaches us a powerful lesson through his life. In the face of adversity, in the face of tragedy, in the face of despair, we must rise above through our faith and our trust in the "author and finisher" of our faith.

So, I say, "Godspeed Senator Kennedy." We were all better off for having had you as such a powerful force in American politics for all these many long years. We will sorely miss you in the years to come!

A Truly Wonderful Week

What a wonderful week this has been!! I started Monday rather down in the dumps. But a fresh spirit from heaven encouraged me. It has only gotten better each day of this week. As the saying goes, "out of the mouth of babes" sometimes the most amazing things come out and strengthen our resolve, our spirit, and our faith. That has been the case for me and has been a help and a comfort for me this week.

Today was another day of slogging through PHP code trying to get an updateable form on our website at work. After two days of working on this rather tediously monotonous list of variables, I have major breakthroughs this afternoon and was able to bring the whole form set to fruition and make it live. I believe it will be greeted with quite some enthusiasm and the battle to make it happen quickly increased my confidence in coding from start to finish. Now on to other important issues and tasks.

Over the next few blog posts, I hope to post some reviews of books that I use so that others who may work with web pages or be interested in working with web pages will know what resources I have found useful. These posts will review books on HTML/XHTML, CSS, XML, XSLT, Xpath, SQL, PHP, and .NET applications. They won't all come at first but will come one at a time in between other blogposts. I will be working on a specific format for each that will include links to Amazon.com for the actual books, a link to the publishers website, ISBN, prices, etc. So stay tuned!

Now, to my last item for this blog post, a few words about my sweet little man, Morgan Barnes. Today was Morgie's first day of school, my little sweet buddy became a kindergartner. I have so enjoyed getting to know this little boy who has become one of the lights in my life. All of us at the church have had a chance to watch him from birth to this momentous transition in his life. And, if you ever meet Morgan, you will never forget him. His sweet little smile, and that good old dose of Barnes stubborness, are so much fun to be around and to watch. And, if you didn't know, Morgie gives a great chiropractic workout to your back. Just let him jump and climb on it for an hour or so and all the kinks will be worked out! So Morgan, welcome to school! Just be who you are and never forget how much we all love you. And, of course, let's not forget that Thomas the Train is never far away!

Sometimes There Are Pleasant Surprises

For a while now, I have struggled with bitterness, a bitterness created by others and out of my control. It has been a true struggle and that struggle is not over yet. When those you care about hurt you badly it takes time to heal. Yes, you heal; and, yes, you survive, but it changes you in myriads of ways and although you can forgive, you never truly forget. When people pass you in church and refuse to look at you, it makes you question if you can worship in such an atmosphere. But then, along comes inspiration from above, an unlooked for moment when someone provides encouragement when you need it most. My encourager caught me unawares yesterday and raised my spirits and helped renew my flagging faith.

My encourager was a young man who truly has more faith than many older Christians who have been in the church for years. And I fear that may sum up the problem with the church in this modern age. Where has our courage gone? Where has our thirst for truth gone? I believe we are too comfortable. But lest I digress into bitterness, let me say that in less than thirty minutes, this very young Christian had reminded me that regardless of how people act and react in the church that I am there to worship and serve God. If others choose to treat the opportunity to worship as an opportunity to be social, or to see and be seen, that is not my concern. God has a work for me to do. I believe that in due time he will accomplish that will and this young man was able to remind me of all of that with his fervor in his faith. I tip my hat to this young man and thank him for doing something that I believe God was prompting him to do. He likely had no idea that he was sent in that fashion, but nevertheless he was used to encourage me. So, Tony Wing, I thank you for who and what you have become and for taking a moment out of a day to make mine so much brighter!

How Long, O Lord?

How long, O Lord will I have to watch the farce that has become your church? And when I speak of the farce of the Lord's "church," I do not mean that God is the farce because he is the only constant in our lives. He is truly the one being in this great and immensely large universe in which we can trust. No, the farce of the Lord's church is in the farce that God's people make of the church. Is it any wonder that people die and go to hell lost in their sins when God's people seem so caught up in their own little world while the world literally falls apart around them?

As I watch with newly opened eyes, I wonder how God stands to look upon what he sees among his people? Does he feel intense hot anger like I do? Does he weep openly like I do? Does our creator, who loved us so much that he sent His only begotten Son to die the cruelest of deaths that we might gain salvation, shake his mighty head in disgust and sadness? As our preacher says, I am engaging my heavenly imagination to wonder about my creator and my Savior. I believe he does all of what I have described and so much more.

I believe that our Savior weeps. He weeps for the lost; and, he weeps for his people. There is no doubt that in spite of our failings, he still loves us unconditionally. He still pleads with us to listen to his voice and his tender guidance. He comes back to us time andtime again even though we don't deserve it because he wants us to be a part of his work. He wants to use us as his representatives, his ambassadors, to a lost and corrupted world.

But, how can he use us? Do we enjoy simply playing church? Is this all just a game to so many of us? Do we even care the damage we are doing to God's work at such a critical time in world history? I often find myself profoundly saddened by the state of what has been termed by some, the "modern" church and by others, the "post-modern" church. The modern church is every bit the Laodicean church of the book of Revelation where Christ writes to say "I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot" (3:15). The modern church is truly lukewarm and it surprises me that God has not already spewed us out of His mouth in disgust. There is nothing worse than lukewarm water, lukewarm food, and especially lukewarm belief. Lukewarm food and water are sickening to the taste, upset the stomach, and generally just make you sick. If lukewarm food and water do that to humans, how must we have sickened our Savior? The fact that he hasn't cast us aside is evidence of his long-suffering patience.

Are we willing to step outside our comfort zones? Will we sacrifice in the service of our Lord? Or have we become a comfortable people incapable of understanding the voice of God? Do we hear the call of our Savior to go and tell? Or are we content with our own church family and unconcerned with those who have not heard and will not hear save through us? I fear that these rhetorical questions do not have positive answers for the modern church. I truly fear that most of us are not capable of stepping outside our comfort zones. We are so comfortable, so "rich yet poor" that we often do not even hear the voice of God. Or worse yet, we consciously choose to ignore him because hearing him requires action and action requires obedience and obedience moves us well outside our comfort zone. I also fear that the modern church has lost its concern for those outside its four walls.

These thoughts bring me full circle to the title of this blog. In Habakkuk 1, the scripture says "O Lord, how long shall I cry, and thou wilt not hear! even cry out unto thee of violence, and thou wilt not save!" And, I ask truly from my heart, "How Long O Lord will you tolerate our lukewarm faith, our lukewarm attitudes, our cold hearts, our richness while we are yet poor? How long?"

To a Soldier, Young and Proud

Who gives thought to the soldiers,
The weapons of the war,
They may well end up dying,
Yet may not know what for.
In service to their country,
They're sent to foreign lands,
They do not have the right of choice,
It's taken out their hands.

Who gives thought to the families,
The wives, the daughters, sons,
Whose lives will never be the same,
Without beloved ones.
Who helps to ease their heartbreak,
Gives comfort when they cry,
Who takes the time to tell them,
Why daddy had to die.

Who gives thought to the soldiers,
To those who do come home,
To what they've seen and been through,
Wherever they did roam.
To how they've lost their comrades,
Have seen their close friends fall,
We should all know for certain,
They're heroes, one and all.

"Soldiers"
by Golden Hamilton

Tonight's blog is the third and last written for soon to depart (or already departed) young people at my church. Tonight, I blog for one of the bravest and strongest young women I have ever had the honor of knowing. Angela Hoyle, or I guess I should say, PFC Holye, is an amazingly courageous young lady who has chosen to serve her country in the armed forces. But, what makes Angela such a special young lady is not simply her great bravery but also her beauty. She is the proverbial "steel magnolia" of the South, capable of showing tender emotion while in the next minute tearing your head off if you threaten those she loves. Over the past few years, I have watched Angela grow up, fall away from her faith, and then return to it. As I listened to how she arrived at her recent rededication to her faith, I was moved to tears about a young woman capable of showing the strength and character of a Ruth while showing the tenderness of Mary. Very simply, Angela Hoyle is a very beautiful rose with thorns.

What I enjoy most about Angela, and have for years as she has grown up, is her tendency to be unconventional. Angela is a square peg and isn't going to fit into round holes anytime soon. She is an independent person capable of making her own decisions. And, over the past few months, I have been encouraged to watch as she has truly enjoyed her decision to serve in the armed forces. For years, I watched Angela as she cast about for who she was and what she wanted to become. To say I was surprised when I heard she wanted to become a soldier would be a vast understatement. I was actually shocked! But, then, as I thought about who Angela is and who she will become, I knew that this was truly the path that this young woman needed to tread. There are many types of courage and many ways to show that courage. Angela is truly lion-hearted to me. And she fears very little.

When she explained to me why she had chosen this path, I understood immediately that she had chosen wisely and would not only be a great soldier, but an exceptional soldier. Naturally, all of us who know and love her fear for her safety because this world is not a safe one for the soldier whether they be in Iraq or Afghanistan. But, the Bible offers us all words of encouragement when we read in Isaiah "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed for I am thy God I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness" (41:10). No matter where we go, how far away it seems from home and family, our God is with us. And I know that he will be with Angela and will protect her as she goes into harms way. I found comfort in knowing that she is in the hands of a loving God who will lead and guide her in the right ways and will hedge around her with protection. This is not to say we will not fear for her because we will. We love her and are going to miss her. But as with Jordan and Nikki, we are proud to see who she has become and the bright future she has ahead of her.

So, Angela is my soldier hero. I wish her all of God's blessings as she begins her new vocation. These words of wisdom I will share with her. No matter where you go, remember to read your Bible daily and contemplate what God shows us through his scriptural inspiration. Pray without ceasing because God heeds and hears our prayers. Even though we sometimes doubt that He hears, the very fact is that He is always ready to commune with us if we take the time to commune with Him. Remember to find yourself a place to worship wherever you are, whether that be the chaplaincy of your base or another church, it is important to have that community of believers around you. And remember in all that you do to honor the God that you profess and serve. I love you very much! Please know that you will always be in my thoughts and prayers.

Lovely Evening by the Fire

Today was very simply a good day! A great day! An amazing day! After getting up and driving in to work this morning, I finally figured out the solution to my update issue in my PHP code and by mid-morning the form and database elements were all ready to go live. After some final clean-up and link corrections, scheduled notifications were sent to take the page live on Monday morning. Woohoo! I've accomplished my first live dynamic series of web pages. What an exciting thing. Along with that, I did some checking on Google page ranking, prepared the template for the Baseball team roster, and got things ready to go forward with other elements next week.

Since we got off early again this Friday, I dropped by the bank and then went and picked up medicine for mom and got her some dinner before driving up to Chris and Karen Barnes's home to spend an evening celebrating Nikki's departure for App State in just 5 days! I'm so proud of her. I ended up laying on a blanket in the yard by a roaring campfire with Mac, the boxer bulldog, curled up next to me. Of course, this was after Mr. Morgan gave Mr. Keith's back a total chiropractic workout. It actually felt great. Morgan needs to do that more often for my back!

Thanks to Chris and Karen for a wonderful evening of just some fun, laughter, and relaxation! I needed that very much! And Angela, your blog will come I hope tomorrow night. Stay tuned my warrior-woman! :-)

Sadness squared?

My blog for Angela will have to hold off for tonight and tomorrow. Tomorrow night I will go to Nikki's going away party at the Barnes' household. And tonight, I don't have a long blog in me. It was a long day of struggling with one tiny little section of PHP code and I'm just plain tuckered out. I intend to defeat this code blockage tomorrow before I leave. I want to be able to take this page live at the first of next week and get along to other important tasks waiting in the wings.

I have come to the conclusion that there will be no progress on the situation at church. It will just be allowed to continue to fester and muddle along. I think it is time for a change. So my sadness is squared:

1. Sadness over the departure of Jordan for college (I will miss that big dude) and over the very near departures of Nikki and Angela (who I will also miss very much); and
2. Sadness over what might have been and now will not.

Tonight I will just contemplate and try to rest.

"A presence that disturbs me with the joy / of elevated thoughts, a sense sublime . . ."

. . .And this prayer I make,
Knowing that nature never did betray
The heart that loved her; 'tis her privilege,
Through all the years of this our life, to lead
From joy to joy, for she can so inform
The mind that is within us, so impress
With quietness and beauty, and so feed
With lofty thoughts, that neither evil tongues,
Rash judgements, nor the sneers of selfish men,
Nor greetings where no kindness is, nor all
The dreary intercourse of daily life,
Shall e'er prevail against us, or disturb
Our cheerful faith that all which we behold
Is full of blessings.

"Lines Written a Few Miles Above Tintern Abbey,
On Revisiting the Banks of the Wye During a Tour, 13 July 1798"
(Lyrical Ballads, 1798)

William Wordsworth

Thinking of the coming departure of another of the special young people I have watched grow up fills me with another moment of joy mixed with sadness. For Nikki Rogers, my blog will focus more on the intellectual beauty that defines who and what she is. The lines above come from my favorite poet and poem. Not only am I a big marshmallow, I am a romantic at heart. When I think of Nikki, what I think of is beauty, a beauty that is far more than just a skin deep phenomenon. Indeed, the title of this blog post is probably the single most, famous line from the British romantic period. And Nikki is that "sense sublime" because she is always capable of bringing a smile to my face.

Nikki joined our church family as a small child in foster care with the Rogers family who later adopted her. She very quickly stole our hearts. For me, as an intellectual who enjoys thinking and discussing literature and poetry, I have especially enjoyed the last few years as I have watched her love of learning infuse her life. Her excitement over the new ideas and concepts she encountered as she grew both physically and intellectually was and is a true joy for me, someone who truly has the heart of a teacher, to embrace and to foster as she grew as a whole person. Wordsworth speaks of nature impressing us "with quietness and beauty." That image of nature using its simple quiet and its simple beauty to impress upon us vast lessons of the creation and of natural morality define to me the person that Nikki has become for nature is strong, nature is powerful, but nature impresses with its slow progress and unfailing faithfulness to the purpose that God gave it. This image of nature reminds me of Nikki because she has a quiet inner strength that is capable of encouraging each of us in the hardest of moments and in the saddest of times. And for that reason, I love her dearly and will miss seeing her.

But, nature teaches us another important lesson that I believe defines Nikki. Wordsworth says that "the dreary intercourse of daily life" cannot prevail against us because it cannot stop our "cheerful faith" that all "that we behold is full of blessings." Nikki is a blessing to us that we did not deserve and a reminder that all that we behold is a life full of the blessings of God. Like Jordan, Nikki's faith is strong; it is sold; and it is a cheerful faith. It defines who she is and will always define her.

But, lest we forget, nature is strong; and, if you know Nikki, like I know Nikki, she is strong. Another romantic poet, William Blake, described nature as red in tooth and claw meaning that sometimes nature gets tough. I've watched Nikki through the years and although she is tender-hearted, more tender-hearted than she wants us to know, she is tough as nails and can battle when the battle is called for; I would expect nothing less of her. And it is a characteristic that will serve her well as she moves out into the sometime cruel "real world".

So my final thoughts to Nikki are similar to what I shared for Jordan. When you arrive in Boone to join the "Boone Goons" as they are called, remember to read your Bible daily, pray without ceasing, and find a local church to become your church family while you are away from us. Remember to study hard but take time to enjoy your time in college because those years will be past before you know it. But know that our love, our prayers, and our best hopes for all the blessings God has in store for you go with you to Boone. We love you Nikki and know that great things will come! Go forth and enjoy your experience with higher education!

A Time to . . .

Yesterday morning, I fulfilled a request to a very special young man at our church when I sang Ray Boltz's "Watch the Lamb". Jordan Moss leaves on Wednesday to start his freshman year at Guilford College. As I have worked in VBS over the past 9 years, I have seen Jordan move from a child to a very special young man. I was very proud to know that Jordan respects me enough to make a request to me to sing one of his favorite songs. I chose Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 as my focal passage of scripture to read before I sang. This passage written by King Solomon says:

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant,and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace."

The book of Ecclesiastes is one of my favorite because of the poetry that Solomon composed as well as the poets who were inspired by this Old Testament book. But in this passage is much that we can learn about life especially as it concerns life-changing events.

As the passage suggests, "to everything there is a season." And those seasons apply to our most precious commodity, our young people. Many years ago when I first met Jordan, he was a quiet shy child who I really couldn't quite figure out. Was Jordan just an extremely shy child? Or was he one of those examples of still waters running deep. As I have watched this remarkable young man grow up, I have learned that he is a still water that runs very deep. This is his time to in a sense be "plucked up" in order to be "planted" on the path of his very bright future. It is also "a time to break down" a very close family unit. Jordan will leave the nest and start his path to his own adult life. No, he won't leave the love of his family but he will enter a new phase in life where he will "build up" new relationships, new friendships, and a new way of seeing how precious his family has and will be to him.

Partings like these, even though they are temporary in nature, also are "a time to weep." They are a time of bittersweet tears as we cry for the departure of a loved one but also cry tears of joy for the promise of a bright future. I know that Randal and Rita Moss right now are inwardly shedding tears of sorrow for their firstborn who is about to go out and brave the world. At the same time, they are proud of the fine young man that they have raised, a young man who is a credit to his raising and an example for his peers to pay attention to and follow. But beyond weeping, it is also a time for joy. Indeed, it is a time for laughing. Laughter is warranted because all of us can remember the days as Jordan grew up and can joy in his happiness as he heads off to college. We can laugh in the knowledge that wherever Jordan goes his very quiet, calm nature will stand as a witness to the friends and acquaintances he will make.

This is Jordan's time to reach out and "get" his future and a time for the rest of us "to lose" the presence of a young man that we care for deeply. But most importantly, this is both "a time to love" and "a time to speak." It is a time to love the importance of family, the value of growing up in a family that teaches values, and the early successes of a special young man. And most importantly, it is "a time to speak." My advice to Jordan is very simple and very easy. Always remember who you are and where you came from because you have a firm foundation to build on. Read your bible daily, pray without ceasing, and settle into a church family at Guilford College. Don't fear failing, but fear the inability to admit your failures and learn from them. Remember the importance of this opportunity to get a good education and build your future because it will be as bright and as promising as your willingness to work for it. Finally, remember that you have a church family, and one particular man in that church family, that loves you very much and wishes you all the blessings that God has in store for them. Reach for the stars my young friend!

Thinking about Baptists

Many times being a Christian, and most especially a Baptist, can be a challenging experience. The past two months have taught that lesson to me in ways that I never wanted to really learn. Having soldiered through this period, there are many thoughts that come to mind. But first, what is the situation? A few months ago, I volunteered to lead our church youth group. What I didn't expect was the opposition and pure hostility I encountered as a result of volunteering. Since I grew up as a preacher's kid in Southern Baptist churches, you would have thought that I learned never to be surprised by what Baptists would do because they truly are unpredictable people. But, I don't believe anybody could be prepared for the events that have followed. Little did I know that two weeks before election day, severe opposition would appear that included young people being used in a campaign to stop my election as youth leader. Probably the most hurtful part of this whole episode has been that young people were used in such a way.

Why the opposition? What is the objection to my leadership of the youth? Why the phone calls in opposition? What exactly is the problem? You would think that I would know these things or would at least understand why all of this happened. But, two months later, the hurt is deep and the understanding is no better than it was when all of this mess started. Did I volunteer for this to be hurt by people that I care about very deeply? What is the objection to someone leading the youth who has directed Vacation Bible School successfully for nine years and directed the AWANA program for one year? What is the objection to someone who gives freely of their time expecting no recompense nor asking for any because they love the church and their service to God? No, I volunteered because I feel a real burden for the youth program at our church and know that God is leading me to this work. I volunteered out of a joy for service, a joy for doing a work that is so important to the future of our faith. Our young people are the future of our church and our faith. When we are all old and gray, these young people will be the next group of the faithful to do God's work and share the gospel of Christ with those who do not believe.

But, what have they learned? What have I learned from this fiasco? I've learned that people of faith can wound in the harshest of ways. People of faith will run roughshod over each other to push their personal agendas. People of faith will continue to push an issue until they alienate the very people they need to do the work that needs to get done. And who cares about the young people watching in the meantime? Do they even factor in the picture at times? Do we see what we are doing to them? I often think that we don't see it out of acts of willful ignorance, if we don't acknowledge the truth it isn't there. It is that old ostrich syndrome I wrote about in my post of a week and a half ago.

I have also learned that if you dare to stand up and speak your mind that you end up being labeled the "trouble-maker". You should just go-along-to-get along seems to be the prevailing mentality. Or worse yet, you're told to wait for a resolution. Wait how long? Wait for what? What exactly is the proposed solution, neutral parties? Does it even matter that the burden I feel has not lessened one iota? Am I to ignore that burden because we "need a neutral party"? Or do I just resign to stop the hurting? Well, that last approach is what I actually did to try and staunch the hurt, the constant surprises that hurt more and more each time they occurred.

Does the fact that I resigned from the youth committee change the way I feel about our youth? Of course not, I love them with every fiber of my being and would do anything for any one of them. So, I hurt in exile. I wonder exactly how all of this transpired after the open testimony I shared in church when I decided that I couldn't leave to go to Charleston. I believe God left me here to do a work with the youth but that is now blocked. So what does one do?

Weekend (Boredom?)!

This weekend has definitely not been a weekend of activity. Rather, it has been a weekend of rest but bordering on boredom. I know my body was definitely reading to me that I needed some rest but I know that I'm due to have a little fun.

Today, I woke up early but the body was not willing to get moving. Maybe it was trying to tell me something I didn't want to hear!?! I got cleaned up, got Mom in her bath (she is really doing amazingly well for someone who just had both knees replaced 6 days ago!), and then settled down to an afternoon of work with Apache Server 2.2 and PHP 5.2.10. I got both of them installed and after two attempts had the httpd.conf file correctly coded to recognize the location of my documents and my php installation. Now I'm ready to do some intense testing and learning of the php language. So, I guess we can call this the boring, rainy nerd weekend!

The Baptist Way - How to Really Screw Up Your Hard Workers

If you're a Southern Baptist, I'm sure you've had one of those moments when you say, "haven't I been here before?" "Haven't I experienced this before?" The answer is that you probably have. Southern Baptists seem to be scared absolutely witless about the whole idea that they might have to confront controversy head on. Oh, as long as the controversy is some social issue that we can rail against, we're just as happy as a pig to wallow in it. Bring on the gay marriage, pro-abortion, etc. debates. We don't mind those at all.

But the second there is a hint of a controversy within the church walls, well, HORRORS! HEAD FOR THE HILLS! We can't have controversy in the church. Shhhhhh, maybe if we find a neutral solution we can keep everyone happy.

Oh, but if we find a neutral solution, then we're straddling the fence and not really finding a solution. We're just papering over the issue and not dealing with it. Maybe if we stick our heads in the sand it will go away. Is there enough paper to cover this up with? Where's the Baptist cat? We need her to put on her big claws and REALLY cover up this mess. Sorry if this seems overtly satirical but I've seen this sort of thing all of my life in the Baptist church and it begins to wear a bit thin.

As a Southern Baptist and someone who is definitely OCD, I don't do anything in half measures. If I'm going to do a job, it is going to be done not well, but superhumanly, insanely well! So, I've worked my heart out in Baptist church after Baptist church. And then, when I put myself forward to do more work, a monkey wrench is thrown into the works. We need a neutral party! Neutral party schmarty! We need to develop some cojones!

If Jesus had taken the approach that Southern Baptists take to controversy, well, let's just say the moneychangers would be making a killin' in the temple! Wow, how good it feels to just let the satire roll! And even let it roll in stream-of-consciousness style! So, as a Southern Baptist, I'm not gonna take it anymore. I'm not going to give and give and give and then get trampled on anymore. God called me to work, but he didn't call me to be used as a doormat, front door carpet, or worse yet, a urinal mat (EEEEWWW!!!!! where did that come from?). I guess you can say I'm a rabid Southern Baptist with a cause. Hear me roar! When God says get in the work and do the work, he means you to do that. So now I just need some time to figure out where that work is taking me because I'm not so sure that this work can be done in a church that flouts God's leadership. Oh wait, I forgot, what would the ostrich do?

Rainy Day in Flat Rock

Just arrived at work for what appears to be another rainy day! When I saw the news this morning, I was somewhat glad I'm not at the CollegeNET user's conference in Portland, Oregon, this summer. The temperature today is slated to be 106 degrees which is just unheard of out there. Normally, the week of user's conference is in the 70s and feels wonderful in comparison to our sultry summer weather here in the south.

Currently, I'm wading through a PHP program that is 23 pages long trying to figure out what each piece does. If you write computer code, please DOCUMENT what you do. Comments really help the person following you save time as they search the process and steps of what you are doing. You know, the proverbial bus could hit you!

On the hospital front, my mom continues to recover from her double-knee replacement surgery. One day after surgery she was up doing the "mummy" walk (yes they have her legs wrapped in bandages) and last night she called me at home to tell me they were doing physical therapy at 9:30 PM. I guess you don't get any rest in the hospital!

Hope everyone has a wonderful day!