The Baptist Way - How to Really Screw Up Your Hard Workers

If you're a Southern Baptist, I'm sure you've had one of those moments when you say, "haven't I been here before?" "Haven't I experienced this before?" The answer is that you probably have. Southern Baptists seem to be scared absolutely witless about the whole idea that they might have to confront controversy head on. Oh, as long as the controversy is some social issue that we can rail against, we're just as happy as a pig to wallow in it. Bring on the gay marriage, pro-abortion, etc. debates. We don't mind those at all.

But the second there is a hint of a controversy within the church walls, well, HORRORS! HEAD FOR THE HILLS! We can't have controversy in the church. Shhhhhh, maybe if we find a neutral solution we can keep everyone happy.

Oh, but if we find a neutral solution, then we're straddling the fence and not really finding a solution. We're just papering over the issue and not dealing with it. Maybe if we stick our heads in the sand it will go away. Is there enough paper to cover this up with? Where's the Baptist cat? We need her to put on her big claws and REALLY cover up this mess. Sorry if this seems overtly satirical but I've seen this sort of thing all of my life in the Baptist church and it begins to wear a bit thin.

As a Southern Baptist and someone who is definitely OCD, I don't do anything in half measures. If I'm going to do a job, it is going to be done not well, but superhumanly, insanely well! So, I've worked my heart out in Baptist church after Baptist church. And then, when I put myself forward to do more work, a monkey wrench is thrown into the works. We need a neutral party! Neutral party schmarty! We need to develop some cojones!

If Jesus had taken the approach that Southern Baptists take to controversy, well, let's just say the moneychangers would be making a killin' in the temple! Wow, how good it feels to just let the satire roll! And even let it roll in stream-of-consciousness style! So, as a Southern Baptist, I'm not gonna take it anymore. I'm not going to give and give and give and then get trampled on anymore. God called me to work, but he didn't call me to be used as a doormat, front door carpet, or worse yet, a urinal mat (EEEEWWW!!!!! where did that come from?). I guess you can say I'm a rabid Southern Baptist with a cause. Hear me roar! When God says get in the work and do the work, he means you to do that. So now I just need some time to figure out where that work is taking me because I'm not so sure that this work can be done in a church that flouts God's leadership. Oh wait, I forgot, what would the ostrich do?