Moving On Down The Road Of Life

In the book of Ecclesiastes, we read that there is a time for everything, a season for all things under the sun.  And, so it is in life at times.  The last year has been a journey for me, a journey that at times has been anything but fun.  Rather, there have been moments when the outlook seemed bleak and the atmosphere seemed dark.  Indeed, there were moments when the storm clouds seemed to be on the verge of overwhelming me.  But, as is so often with the cycles of life, things turn around, decisions are made, movement happens.

For much of the past few months, I have wandered blindly through a dark haze that wouldn't seem to lift.  In short, I had gotten so mired in dismay and despair that I had forgotten to remember that God always has a plan.  We don't always know that plan because we are trying to find our way as we listen to his promptings.  But, after a long dark night, I can finally say I'm moving on down the road of life.  There is sadness which will remain for sometime.  There is pain that will lessen in time.  There are wounds that will heal with time and God's urgings.  But, through the deepest and darkest moments of the past year and the bitterest moments of the past few months, one thing, one person, has been a constant.  God never left my side.  He never gave up on me.  He never forsook me.  His loving arms were stretched tight around me and his hands were wiping away every tear that fell from my eyes.  And there is a comfort in that because I know that this will always be a truth for me.

There is a peace that comes with being able to make decisions that resolve problems we face in life.  And that peace truly passes all human understanding.  Although I know there will be sad days and sad moments in the time to come, I will march forward into the bright new future that God has prepared for me.  Whatever he has in store, it will be good and I will be happy.  That should be enough for all of us.

The Joy of Friendship

Today has been a good day. Not because I have done lots of things (I haven't!). And not because I have felt particularly great (because I haven't!). But despite having a late summer head cold, this has been a great day! My day started awaking early because of "snotitis". I didn't know the nasal passages could create that much stuff. Wonder if you could sell it for the purposes of laboratory research? *he he*

I got myself up out of bed and got ready for church. I particularly enjoyed playing the organ today. Maybe it was the cold medicine induced euphoria but I did enjoy it. The special singing was one of my favorite songs. And the preacher did have a wonderful message that all of us need to take more to heart. Sometimes it is very difficult to love as we should. Let's face it folks, human beings are not always the most lovable of creatures! But it was a good lesson and I look forward to more of it because it will be good for us to re-learn this important element of our Christianity.

Following church, I gathered with some of my truly best friends for lunch at Bogart's in Waynesville. There were nine of us all together and it made my day! No matter how I feel, how down in the dumps, whatever, these people ALWAYS lift my spirits. And that is what is so good about having friends, people that you truly care for and love. To be a friend, at least to me, is to give completely of myself. To be there in the ups and in the downs, in the good times and in the worst of times, in the fun times and in the not so fun times. In short, friendship is about allowing yourself to be loved and to love in return. And when that gift is given freely, I believe you evidence the love of God in its purest of forms, the agape love spoken of in the Bible. It is a love given, not because it is necessarily deserved, but because you want to give it. It makes you feel good to give it. That kind of love is transformative in your life because it serves as a solid post in the storms of life, a rallying point to hold on to through the toughest parts of our daily lives.

So, in short, it is friendship and the love of great friends that has made my day truly blessed!

Pondering the End of a Generation

As the day has unfolded, I have watched the funeral of Senator Ted Kennedy. Although I didn't watch the wall-to-wall coverage that blanketed the cable news networks, I did get an opportunity to see parts of the funeral mass, the stop at the steps leading up to the Senate chamber, and the graveside rites. Whether you liked or disliked Sen. Kennedy, it is hard to imagine a senator who more defined a hard-working leader who fought for what he believed in and spoke his mind on issues of the day. I happen to be one of the Democratic Party's faithful who believes that Teddy, as we affectionately thought of him in meetings that I have attended and at the Democratic National Convention's that I have attended, was indeed one of the finest examples of a United States senator that this nation has ever seen.

When you look at the broad sweep of his 77 years of life, exuberant and joyful life in the face of great adversities and great personal tragedies. Who among us could have lost one brother, a President of the United States, to a tragic assassination only to face the same situation five years later with a second brother who was running for President. But through both of those tragedies, he never lost his hope; he never lost his joy in living life to his fullest. Senator Kennedy freely admitted that he had personal problems and personal failings. But isn't that the true story of human beings? Aren't we essentially flawed creations because of original sin? Yet, through these personal failings, the senator was able to look to his faith to find the means of redemption. For, redemption is what original sin caused ALL of us to need! Often, we are so quick to condemn folks who fail. Our "righteous indignation" rises to the front as we stand up and act as if we are any better than that person who has failed. Well we aren't. The scriptures teach us that "all have failed and come short of the glory of the Lord" (Romans 3:23, paraphrase). Who among us has the right, or even the moral standing, to cast the first stone. I will certainly say that I don't. And the senator thus teaches us a powerful lesson through his life. In the face of adversity, in the face of tragedy, in the face of despair, we must rise above through our faith and our trust in the "author and finisher" of our faith.

So, I say, "Godspeed Senator Kennedy." We were all better off for having had you as such a powerful force in American politics for all these many long years. We will sorely miss you in the years to come!

A Truly Wonderful Week

What a wonderful week this has been!! I started Monday rather down in the dumps. But a fresh spirit from heaven encouraged me. It has only gotten better each day of this week. As the saying goes, "out of the mouth of babes" sometimes the most amazing things come out and strengthen our resolve, our spirit, and our faith. That has been the case for me and has been a help and a comfort for me this week.

Today was another day of slogging through PHP code trying to get an updateable form on our website at work. After two days of working on this rather tediously monotonous list of variables, I have major breakthroughs this afternoon and was able to bring the whole form set to fruition and make it live. I believe it will be greeted with quite some enthusiasm and the battle to make it happen quickly increased my confidence in coding from start to finish. Now on to other important issues and tasks.

Over the next few blog posts, I hope to post some reviews of books that I use so that others who may work with web pages or be interested in working with web pages will know what resources I have found useful. These posts will review books on HTML/XHTML, CSS, XML, XSLT, Xpath, SQL, PHP, and .NET applications. They won't all come at first but will come one at a time in between other blogposts. I will be working on a specific format for each that will include links to Amazon.com for the actual books, a link to the publishers website, ISBN, prices, etc. So stay tuned!

Now, to my last item for this blog post, a few words about my sweet little man, Morgan Barnes. Today was Morgie's first day of school, my little sweet buddy became a kindergartner. I have so enjoyed getting to know this little boy who has become one of the lights in my life. All of us at the church have had a chance to watch him from birth to this momentous transition in his life. And, if you ever meet Morgan, you will never forget him. His sweet little smile, and that good old dose of Barnes stubborness, are so much fun to be around and to watch. And, if you didn't know, Morgie gives a great chiropractic workout to your back. Just let him jump and climb on it for an hour or so and all the kinks will be worked out! So Morgan, welcome to school! Just be who you are and never forget how much we all love you. And, of course, let's not forget that Thomas the Train is never far away!

Sometimes There Are Pleasant Surprises

For a while now, I have struggled with bitterness, a bitterness created by others and out of my control. It has been a true struggle and that struggle is not over yet. When those you care about hurt you badly it takes time to heal. Yes, you heal; and, yes, you survive, but it changes you in myriads of ways and although you can forgive, you never truly forget. When people pass you in church and refuse to look at you, it makes you question if you can worship in such an atmosphere. But then, along comes inspiration from above, an unlooked for moment when someone provides encouragement when you need it most. My encourager caught me unawares yesterday and raised my spirits and helped renew my flagging faith.

My encourager was a young man who truly has more faith than many older Christians who have been in the church for years. And I fear that may sum up the problem with the church in this modern age. Where has our courage gone? Where has our thirst for truth gone? I believe we are too comfortable. But lest I digress into bitterness, let me say that in less than thirty minutes, this very young Christian had reminded me that regardless of how people act and react in the church that I am there to worship and serve God. If others choose to treat the opportunity to worship as an opportunity to be social, or to see and be seen, that is not my concern. God has a work for me to do. I believe that in due time he will accomplish that will and this young man was able to remind me of all of that with his fervor in his faith. I tip my hat to this young man and thank him for doing something that I believe God was prompting him to do. He likely had no idea that he was sent in that fashion, but nevertheless he was used to encourage me. So, Tony Wing, I thank you for who and what you have become and for taking a moment out of a day to make mine so much brighter!

How Long, O Lord?

How long, O Lord will I have to watch the farce that has become your church? And when I speak of the farce of the Lord's "church," I do not mean that God is the farce because he is the only constant in our lives. He is truly the one being in this great and immensely large universe in which we can trust. No, the farce of the Lord's church is in the farce that God's people make of the church. Is it any wonder that people die and go to hell lost in their sins when God's people seem so caught up in their own little world while the world literally falls apart around them?

As I watch with newly opened eyes, I wonder how God stands to look upon what he sees among his people? Does he feel intense hot anger like I do? Does he weep openly like I do? Does our creator, who loved us so much that he sent His only begotten Son to die the cruelest of deaths that we might gain salvation, shake his mighty head in disgust and sadness? As our preacher says, I am engaging my heavenly imagination to wonder about my creator and my Savior. I believe he does all of what I have described and so much more.

I believe that our Savior weeps. He weeps for the lost; and, he weeps for his people. There is no doubt that in spite of our failings, he still loves us unconditionally. He still pleads with us to listen to his voice and his tender guidance. He comes back to us time andtime again even though we don't deserve it because he wants us to be a part of his work. He wants to use us as his representatives, his ambassadors, to a lost and corrupted world.

But, how can he use us? Do we enjoy simply playing church? Is this all just a game to so many of us? Do we even care the damage we are doing to God's work at such a critical time in world history? I often find myself profoundly saddened by the state of what has been termed by some, the "modern" church and by others, the "post-modern" church. The modern church is every bit the Laodicean church of the book of Revelation where Christ writes to say "I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot" (3:15). The modern church is truly lukewarm and it surprises me that God has not already spewed us out of His mouth in disgust. There is nothing worse than lukewarm water, lukewarm food, and especially lukewarm belief. Lukewarm food and water are sickening to the taste, upset the stomach, and generally just make you sick. If lukewarm food and water do that to humans, how must we have sickened our Savior? The fact that he hasn't cast us aside is evidence of his long-suffering patience.

Are we willing to step outside our comfort zones? Will we sacrifice in the service of our Lord? Or have we become a comfortable people incapable of understanding the voice of God? Do we hear the call of our Savior to go and tell? Or are we content with our own church family and unconcerned with those who have not heard and will not hear save through us? I fear that these rhetorical questions do not have positive answers for the modern church. I truly fear that most of us are not capable of stepping outside our comfort zones. We are so comfortable, so "rich yet poor" that we often do not even hear the voice of God. Or worse yet, we consciously choose to ignore him because hearing him requires action and action requires obedience and obedience moves us well outside our comfort zone. I also fear that the modern church has lost its concern for those outside its four walls.

These thoughts bring me full circle to the title of this blog. In Habakkuk 1, the scripture says "O Lord, how long shall I cry, and thou wilt not hear! even cry out unto thee of violence, and thou wilt not save!" And, I ask truly from my heart, "How Long O Lord will you tolerate our lukewarm faith, our lukewarm attitudes, our cold hearts, our richness while we are yet poor? How long?"

To a Soldier, Young and Proud

Who gives thought to the soldiers,
The weapons of the war,
They may well end up dying,
Yet may not know what for.
In service to their country,
They're sent to foreign lands,
They do not have the right of choice,
It's taken out their hands.

Who gives thought to the families,
The wives, the daughters, sons,
Whose lives will never be the same,
Without beloved ones.
Who helps to ease their heartbreak,
Gives comfort when they cry,
Who takes the time to tell them,
Why daddy had to die.

Who gives thought to the soldiers,
To those who do come home,
To what they've seen and been through,
Wherever they did roam.
To how they've lost their comrades,
Have seen their close friends fall,
We should all know for certain,
They're heroes, one and all.

"Soldiers"
by Golden Hamilton

Tonight's blog is the third and last written for soon to depart (or already departed) young people at my church. Tonight, I blog for one of the bravest and strongest young women I have ever had the honor of knowing. Angela Hoyle, or I guess I should say, PFC Holye, is an amazingly courageous young lady who has chosen to serve her country in the armed forces. But, what makes Angela such a special young lady is not simply her great bravery but also her beauty. She is the proverbial "steel magnolia" of the South, capable of showing tender emotion while in the next minute tearing your head off if you threaten those she loves. Over the past few years, I have watched Angela grow up, fall away from her faith, and then return to it. As I listened to how she arrived at her recent rededication to her faith, I was moved to tears about a young woman capable of showing the strength and character of a Ruth while showing the tenderness of Mary. Very simply, Angela Hoyle is a very beautiful rose with thorns.

What I enjoy most about Angela, and have for years as she has grown up, is her tendency to be unconventional. Angela is a square peg and isn't going to fit into round holes anytime soon. She is an independent person capable of making her own decisions. And, over the past few months, I have been encouraged to watch as she has truly enjoyed her decision to serve in the armed forces. For years, I watched Angela as she cast about for who she was and what she wanted to become. To say I was surprised when I heard she wanted to become a soldier would be a vast understatement. I was actually shocked! But, then, as I thought about who Angela is and who she will become, I knew that this was truly the path that this young woman needed to tread. There are many types of courage and many ways to show that courage. Angela is truly lion-hearted to me. And she fears very little.

When she explained to me why she had chosen this path, I understood immediately that she had chosen wisely and would not only be a great soldier, but an exceptional soldier. Naturally, all of us who know and love her fear for her safety because this world is not a safe one for the soldier whether they be in Iraq or Afghanistan. But, the Bible offers us all words of encouragement when we read in Isaiah "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed for I am thy God I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness" (41:10). No matter where we go, how far away it seems from home and family, our God is with us. And I know that he will be with Angela and will protect her as she goes into harms way. I found comfort in knowing that she is in the hands of a loving God who will lead and guide her in the right ways and will hedge around her with protection. This is not to say we will not fear for her because we will. We love her and are going to miss her. But as with Jordan and Nikki, we are proud to see who she has become and the bright future she has ahead of her.

So, Angela is my soldier hero. I wish her all of God's blessings as she begins her new vocation. These words of wisdom I will share with her. No matter where you go, remember to read your Bible daily and contemplate what God shows us through his scriptural inspiration. Pray without ceasing because God heeds and hears our prayers. Even though we sometimes doubt that He hears, the very fact is that He is always ready to commune with us if we take the time to commune with Him. Remember to find yourself a place to worship wherever you are, whether that be the chaplaincy of your base or another church, it is important to have that community of believers around you. And remember in all that you do to honor the God that you profess and serve. I love you very much! Please know that you will always be in my thoughts and prayers.

Lovely Evening by the Fire

Today was very simply a good day! A great day! An amazing day! After getting up and driving in to work this morning, I finally figured out the solution to my update issue in my PHP code and by mid-morning the form and database elements were all ready to go live. After some final clean-up and link corrections, scheduled notifications were sent to take the page live on Monday morning. Woohoo! I've accomplished my first live dynamic series of web pages. What an exciting thing. Along with that, I did some checking on Google page ranking, prepared the template for the Baseball team roster, and got things ready to go forward with other elements next week.

Since we got off early again this Friday, I dropped by the bank and then went and picked up medicine for mom and got her some dinner before driving up to Chris and Karen Barnes's home to spend an evening celebrating Nikki's departure for App State in just 5 days! I'm so proud of her. I ended up laying on a blanket in the yard by a roaring campfire with Mac, the boxer bulldog, curled up next to me. Of course, this was after Mr. Morgan gave Mr. Keith's back a total chiropractic workout. It actually felt great. Morgan needs to do that more often for my back!

Thanks to Chris and Karen for a wonderful evening of just some fun, laughter, and relaxation! I needed that very much! And Angela, your blog will come I hope tomorrow night. Stay tuned my warrior-woman! :-)

Sadness squared?

My blog for Angela will have to hold off for tonight and tomorrow. Tomorrow night I will go to Nikki's going away party at the Barnes' household. And tonight, I don't have a long blog in me. It was a long day of struggling with one tiny little section of PHP code and I'm just plain tuckered out. I intend to defeat this code blockage tomorrow before I leave. I want to be able to take this page live at the first of next week and get along to other important tasks waiting in the wings.

I have come to the conclusion that there will be no progress on the situation at church. It will just be allowed to continue to fester and muddle along. I think it is time for a change. So my sadness is squared:

1. Sadness over the departure of Jordan for college (I will miss that big dude) and over the very near departures of Nikki and Angela (who I will also miss very much); and
2. Sadness over what might have been and now will not.

Tonight I will just contemplate and try to rest.

"A presence that disturbs me with the joy / of elevated thoughts, a sense sublime . . ."

. . .And this prayer I make,
Knowing that nature never did betray
The heart that loved her; 'tis her privilege,
Through all the years of this our life, to lead
From joy to joy, for she can so inform
The mind that is within us, so impress
With quietness and beauty, and so feed
With lofty thoughts, that neither evil tongues,
Rash judgements, nor the sneers of selfish men,
Nor greetings where no kindness is, nor all
The dreary intercourse of daily life,
Shall e'er prevail against us, or disturb
Our cheerful faith that all which we behold
Is full of blessings.

"Lines Written a Few Miles Above Tintern Abbey,
On Revisiting the Banks of the Wye During a Tour, 13 July 1798"
(Lyrical Ballads, 1798)

William Wordsworth

Thinking of the coming departure of another of the special young people I have watched grow up fills me with another moment of joy mixed with sadness. For Nikki Rogers, my blog will focus more on the intellectual beauty that defines who and what she is. The lines above come from my favorite poet and poem. Not only am I a big marshmallow, I am a romantic at heart. When I think of Nikki, what I think of is beauty, a beauty that is far more than just a skin deep phenomenon. Indeed, the title of this blog post is probably the single most, famous line from the British romantic period. And Nikki is that "sense sublime" because she is always capable of bringing a smile to my face.

Nikki joined our church family as a small child in foster care with the Rogers family who later adopted her. She very quickly stole our hearts. For me, as an intellectual who enjoys thinking and discussing literature and poetry, I have especially enjoyed the last few years as I have watched her love of learning infuse her life. Her excitement over the new ideas and concepts she encountered as she grew both physically and intellectually was and is a true joy for me, someone who truly has the heart of a teacher, to embrace and to foster as she grew as a whole person. Wordsworth speaks of nature impressing us "with quietness and beauty." That image of nature using its simple quiet and its simple beauty to impress upon us vast lessons of the creation and of natural morality define to me the person that Nikki has become for nature is strong, nature is powerful, but nature impresses with its slow progress and unfailing faithfulness to the purpose that God gave it. This image of nature reminds me of Nikki because she has a quiet inner strength that is capable of encouraging each of us in the hardest of moments and in the saddest of times. And for that reason, I love her dearly and will miss seeing her.

But, nature teaches us another important lesson that I believe defines Nikki. Wordsworth says that "the dreary intercourse of daily life" cannot prevail against us because it cannot stop our "cheerful faith" that all "that we behold is full of blessings." Nikki is a blessing to us that we did not deserve and a reminder that all that we behold is a life full of the blessings of God. Like Jordan, Nikki's faith is strong; it is sold; and it is a cheerful faith. It defines who she is and will always define her.

But, lest we forget, nature is strong; and, if you know Nikki, like I know Nikki, she is strong. Another romantic poet, William Blake, described nature as red in tooth and claw meaning that sometimes nature gets tough. I've watched Nikki through the years and although she is tender-hearted, more tender-hearted than she wants us to know, she is tough as nails and can battle when the battle is called for; I would expect nothing less of her. And it is a characteristic that will serve her well as she moves out into the sometime cruel "real world".

So my final thoughts to Nikki are similar to what I shared for Jordan. When you arrive in Boone to join the "Boone Goons" as they are called, remember to read your Bible daily, pray without ceasing, and find a local church to become your church family while you are away from us. Remember to study hard but take time to enjoy your time in college because those years will be past before you know it. But know that our love, our prayers, and our best hopes for all the blessings God has in store for you go with you to Boone. We love you Nikki and know that great things will come! Go forth and enjoy your experience with higher education!

A Time to . . .

Yesterday morning, I fulfilled a request to a very special young man at our church when I sang Ray Boltz's "Watch the Lamb". Jordan Moss leaves on Wednesday to start his freshman year at Guilford College. As I have worked in VBS over the past 9 years, I have seen Jordan move from a child to a very special young man. I was very proud to know that Jordan respects me enough to make a request to me to sing one of his favorite songs. I chose Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 as my focal passage of scripture to read before I sang. This passage written by King Solomon says:

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant,and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace."

The book of Ecclesiastes is one of my favorite because of the poetry that Solomon composed as well as the poets who were inspired by this Old Testament book. But in this passage is much that we can learn about life especially as it concerns life-changing events.

As the passage suggests, "to everything there is a season." And those seasons apply to our most precious commodity, our young people. Many years ago when I first met Jordan, he was a quiet shy child who I really couldn't quite figure out. Was Jordan just an extremely shy child? Or was he one of those examples of still waters running deep. As I have watched this remarkable young man grow up, I have learned that he is a still water that runs very deep. This is his time to in a sense be "plucked up" in order to be "planted" on the path of his very bright future. It is also "a time to break down" a very close family unit. Jordan will leave the nest and start his path to his own adult life. No, he won't leave the love of his family but he will enter a new phase in life where he will "build up" new relationships, new friendships, and a new way of seeing how precious his family has and will be to him.

Partings like these, even though they are temporary in nature, also are "a time to weep." They are a time of bittersweet tears as we cry for the departure of a loved one but also cry tears of joy for the promise of a bright future. I know that Randal and Rita Moss right now are inwardly shedding tears of sorrow for their firstborn who is about to go out and brave the world. At the same time, they are proud of the fine young man that they have raised, a young man who is a credit to his raising and an example for his peers to pay attention to and follow. But beyond weeping, it is also a time for joy. Indeed, it is a time for laughing. Laughter is warranted because all of us can remember the days as Jordan grew up and can joy in his happiness as he heads off to college. We can laugh in the knowledge that wherever Jordan goes his very quiet, calm nature will stand as a witness to the friends and acquaintances he will make.

This is Jordan's time to reach out and "get" his future and a time for the rest of us "to lose" the presence of a young man that we care for deeply. But most importantly, this is both "a time to love" and "a time to speak." It is a time to love the importance of family, the value of growing up in a family that teaches values, and the early successes of a special young man. And most importantly, it is "a time to speak." My advice to Jordan is very simple and very easy. Always remember who you are and where you came from because you have a firm foundation to build on. Read your bible daily, pray without ceasing, and settle into a church family at Guilford College. Don't fear failing, but fear the inability to admit your failures and learn from them. Remember the importance of this opportunity to get a good education and build your future because it will be as bright and as promising as your willingness to work for it. Finally, remember that you have a church family, and one particular man in that church family, that loves you very much and wishes you all the blessings that God has in store for them. Reach for the stars my young friend!

Thinking about Baptists

Many times being a Christian, and most especially a Baptist, can be a challenging experience. The past two months have taught that lesson to me in ways that I never wanted to really learn. Having soldiered through this period, there are many thoughts that come to mind. But first, what is the situation? A few months ago, I volunteered to lead our church youth group. What I didn't expect was the opposition and pure hostility I encountered as a result of volunteering. Since I grew up as a preacher's kid in Southern Baptist churches, you would have thought that I learned never to be surprised by what Baptists would do because they truly are unpredictable people. But, I don't believe anybody could be prepared for the events that have followed. Little did I know that two weeks before election day, severe opposition would appear that included young people being used in a campaign to stop my election as youth leader. Probably the most hurtful part of this whole episode has been that young people were used in such a way.

Why the opposition? What is the objection to my leadership of the youth? Why the phone calls in opposition? What exactly is the problem? You would think that I would know these things or would at least understand why all of this happened. But, two months later, the hurt is deep and the understanding is no better than it was when all of this mess started. Did I volunteer for this to be hurt by people that I care about very deeply? What is the objection to someone leading the youth who has directed Vacation Bible School successfully for nine years and directed the AWANA program for one year? What is the objection to someone who gives freely of their time expecting no recompense nor asking for any because they love the church and their service to God? No, I volunteered because I feel a real burden for the youth program at our church and know that God is leading me to this work. I volunteered out of a joy for service, a joy for doing a work that is so important to the future of our faith. Our young people are the future of our church and our faith. When we are all old and gray, these young people will be the next group of the faithful to do God's work and share the gospel of Christ with those who do not believe.

But, what have they learned? What have I learned from this fiasco? I've learned that people of faith can wound in the harshest of ways. People of faith will run roughshod over each other to push their personal agendas. People of faith will continue to push an issue until they alienate the very people they need to do the work that needs to get done. And who cares about the young people watching in the meantime? Do they even factor in the picture at times? Do we see what we are doing to them? I often think that we don't see it out of acts of willful ignorance, if we don't acknowledge the truth it isn't there. It is that old ostrich syndrome I wrote about in my post of a week and a half ago.

I have also learned that if you dare to stand up and speak your mind that you end up being labeled the "trouble-maker". You should just go-along-to-get along seems to be the prevailing mentality. Or worse yet, you're told to wait for a resolution. Wait how long? Wait for what? What exactly is the proposed solution, neutral parties? Does it even matter that the burden I feel has not lessened one iota? Am I to ignore that burden because we "need a neutral party"? Or do I just resign to stop the hurting? Well, that last approach is what I actually did to try and staunch the hurt, the constant surprises that hurt more and more each time they occurred.

Does the fact that I resigned from the youth committee change the way I feel about our youth? Of course not, I love them with every fiber of my being and would do anything for any one of them. So, I hurt in exile. I wonder exactly how all of this transpired after the open testimony I shared in church when I decided that I couldn't leave to go to Charleston. I believe God left me here to do a work with the youth but that is now blocked. So what does one do?

Weekend (Boredom?)!

This weekend has definitely not been a weekend of activity. Rather, it has been a weekend of rest but bordering on boredom. I know my body was definitely reading to me that I needed some rest but I know that I'm due to have a little fun.

Today, I woke up early but the body was not willing to get moving. Maybe it was trying to tell me something I didn't want to hear!?! I got cleaned up, got Mom in her bath (she is really doing amazingly well for someone who just had both knees replaced 6 days ago!), and then settled down to an afternoon of work with Apache Server 2.2 and PHP 5.2.10. I got both of them installed and after two attempts had the httpd.conf file correctly coded to recognize the location of my documents and my php installation. Now I'm ready to do some intense testing and learning of the php language. So, I guess we can call this the boring, rainy nerd weekend!

The Baptist Way - How to Really Screw Up Your Hard Workers

If you're a Southern Baptist, I'm sure you've had one of those moments when you say, "haven't I been here before?" "Haven't I experienced this before?" The answer is that you probably have. Southern Baptists seem to be scared absolutely witless about the whole idea that they might have to confront controversy head on. Oh, as long as the controversy is some social issue that we can rail against, we're just as happy as a pig to wallow in it. Bring on the gay marriage, pro-abortion, etc. debates. We don't mind those at all.

But the second there is a hint of a controversy within the church walls, well, HORRORS! HEAD FOR THE HILLS! We can't have controversy in the church. Shhhhhh, maybe if we find a neutral solution we can keep everyone happy.

Oh, but if we find a neutral solution, then we're straddling the fence and not really finding a solution. We're just papering over the issue and not dealing with it. Maybe if we stick our heads in the sand it will go away. Is there enough paper to cover this up with? Where's the Baptist cat? We need her to put on her big claws and REALLY cover up this mess. Sorry if this seems overtly satirical but I've seen this sort of thing all of my life in the Baptist church and it begins to wear a bit thin.

As a Southern Baptist and someone who is definitely OCD, I don't do anything in half measures. If I'm going to do a job, it is going to be done not well, but superhumanly, insanely well! So, I've worked my heart out in Baptist church after Baptist church. And then, when I put myself forward to do more work, a monkey wrench is thrown into the works. We need a neutral party! Neutral party schmarty! We need to develop some cojones!

If Jesus had taken the approach that Southern Baptists take to controversy, well, let's just say the moneychangers would be making a killin' in the temple! Wow, how good it feels to just let the satire roll! And even let it roll in stream-of-consciousness style! So, as a Southern Baptist, I'm not gonna take it anymore. I'm not going to give and give and give and then get trampled on anymore. God called me to work, but he didn't call me to be used as a doormat, front door carpet, or worse yet, a urinal mat (EEEEWWW!!!!! where did that come from?). I guess you can say I'm a rabid Southern Baptist with a cause. Hear me roar! When God says get in the work and do the work, he means you to do that. So now I just need some time to figure out where that work is taking me because I'm not so sure that this work can be done in a church that flouts God's leadership. Oh wait, I forgot, what would the ostrich do?

Rainy Day in Flat Rock

Just arrived at work for what appears to be another rainy day! When I saw the news this morning, I was somewhat glad I'm not at the CollegeNET user's conference in Portland, Oregon, this summer. The temperature today is slated to be 106 degrees which is just unheard of out there. Normally, the week of user's conference is in the 70s and feels wonderful in comparison to our sultry summer weather here in the south.

Currently, I'm wading through a PHP program that is 23 pages long trying to figure out what each piece does. If you write computer code, please DOCUMENT what you do. Comments really help the person following you save time as they search the process and steps of what you are doing. You know, the proverbial bus could hit you!

On the hospital front, my mom continues to recover from her double-knee replacement surgery. One day after surgery she was up doing the "mummy" walk (yes they have her legs wrapped in bandages) and last night she called me at home to tell me they were doing physical therapy at 9:30 PM. I guess you don't get any rest in the hospital!

Hope everyone has a wonderful day!

The Calm Before the Commencement Storm

Wow, what a whirlwind week and weekend! It all started with decorating the church for VBS last Sunday evening from roughly 2-7 PM. Then, we had this manic week with enrollment growing to 180 by the last night and attendance averaging around 137 per night. We did not have a single night where attendance dipped below 130. To top things off, we had 9 young souls who chose Christ as their personal savior and one rededication. Even though I am exhausted as I start to change to go to VBS commencement for the picnic and the actual close of 2009 VBS - Boomerang Express, I know it was worth every bit of energy that we all poured into it. VBS is definitely a team effort. I have been blessed with a great team!!!

The Last Night of a Very Successful VBS

VBS 2009 is over except for our annual picnic and commencement exercises on Sunday evening. These five nights have flown by while we have experienced evenings that have surprised me beyond any of my wildest expectations. If anyone had told me that by the last night I would have 180 enrollments, I would have told them they were nuts!

Am I tired, OH YEAH! I'm absolutely exhausted. Working, driving, being excited for and with the kids, and managing all of that for a week has been a challenge. But nothing worth doing is worth doing halfway! I will be posting pictures soon for folks to see our week in VBS. I may even do a flash or PowerPoint slide show. I haven't decided which I want to do this year. The best part of this evening was watching our young former Abercrombie model let the kids paint his old beater truck, nicknamed "Stepchild". Those kids wrote testimonials, scripture, and words of wisdom all over that truck. Tony is going to be a driving witness. It is absolutely an amazing thing to see the transformation that has taken place in this young man's life. He is an inspiration to me!

And to think, we end this week with 9 more young souls who will join us in a joyous celebration in heaven. You just can't beat that feeling.